Selfish Mistakes
by Bonnie-n-clyde1982
Summary: Love made them deceive those around them. Will love bring them together?
1. Chapter 1

Ch 1

Kid and Lou were in the early stages of wedding planning and tensions seemed to be running high. Kid was anxious and could hardly wait. Lou on the other hand seemed distant and apprehensive. Kid saw Lou walking back in from town.

"Where ya been?"

"Town."

"Get anything for the wedding?"

"No."

"Lou, we have to pick a date and start planning sometime. You can't keep putting it off."

"I ain't putting it off Kid. I just don't like you rushing me into anything. I'll do it when I'm damn good and ready."

"Lou, I love you. I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm sorry if you feel I'm rushing it. I'll stop."

"No, I'm sorry. It's just such a big change. I'm excited too. I really am. Just let's not rush our wedding."

"No problem. I want it to be everything that you ever wanted." Said Kid smiling.

Lou smiled back.

"I got a run in a few. I need to go get ready. We'll talk more later."

Kid hugged her and walked on into town. Lou sighed and went on to the barn. Buck was in there putting down fresh straw.

"Hey Buck."

"Hey Lou."

Lou went about getting her tack. She tied Lightning in the aisle. She laid her head on his neck and smelled his mane.

"Lou, are you ok?" Asked Buck.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Buck, is Jimmy around?"

"Yeah he just walked over to Rachel's to work on her porch railing."

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"Can you get Lightning ready for me?"

"I'll be glad to. You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah. I just need a minute."

Buck watched as she left and walked straight over to Jimmy. He saw them talking. Jimmy walked over to the side of Rachel's house. Lou followed with her hands in her pockets. He watched as he tacked up her horse. Lou kept talking and looking at her feet while Jimmy listened intently. He saw Jimmy say something back to her. She nodded her head and gave him a hug. She started back toward the barn and Jimmy started back to work on the porch.

"I got him ready Lou. You just have to grab your bedroll."

"Thanks so much Buck."

He looked to Lou as she double checked that she had everything. He didn't know why she fought it. She clearly had a connection with Jimmy but yet chose Kid.

"Lou, have a safe ride."

"Rider comin!" Yelled Jimmy.

"Thanks Buck. See y'all soon."

Lou raced to meet Cody. She took the pouch and rode off.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2

Kid walked back into the station just as Jimmy was putting his tools away. He stood off to the side waiting for him to finish. Jimmy stood and stretched. He turned to go wash up when he saw Kid.

"Jimmy, can you talk for a minute?"

"Something wrong?"

"Not really. Just thought we could talk for a few."

"I reckon so. What's on your mind?" Jimmy said as he leaned back against the wall crossing his arms.

"Louise."

"I should have known."

"She hasn't set a wedding day yet. It's been a few weeks since I asked her. I thought she would want to go ahead and marry but she seems like she could care less."

"Kid, maybe I'm not the one you need to be talking to about all this."

"Come on Jimmy, all Teaspoon does is confuse me and Cody is just a no. I need a friend here."

"Maybe you shouldn't ask her about it anymore, just let her come to you with a date when she is ready. It's gonna be a big change for her."

"I know but she needs this change. It's time. She can't go on pretending forever and it gets more dangerous by the day."

"Well my advice to you is this, don't push Lou into becoming Louise. The more you push, the more she is gonna push away. She will come around on her own time."

"I don't want to wait forever. I'm ready for her to be my wife."

"Maybe Lou ain't quite ready to have a husband."

Kid looked at Jimmy as he pushed away from the wall and walked to the bunkhouse.

Buck heard Kid talking to Jimmy. He didn't know how Jimmy managed to do it. First Lou, now Kid. He had it on both sides. He watched Kid slowly make his way out of the barn in deep thought.

Lou made it back in from her run the next morning right on schedule. She tossed the pouch to Noah and waved as he rode off. Kid met her in the yard.

"Hey Lou, I've missed you. Any trouble? Let me take your horse."

"Nothing out of the ordinary."

"That's good to hear." Kid said as he bent and kissed her on the cheek.

"I think I'm going to wash up and go visit with Rachel before supper."

"Ok honey. I'll see you later."

Lou watched him go. He hadn't mentioned the wedding at all and he wasn't as suffocating. That was odd. She got her things to wash up. After cleaning up, she knocked on Rachel's door.

"Louise? Come on in."

"Thanks."

"How was your ride?"

"Long and boring."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know Rachel, that's the thing. I feel like I'm in a rut."

"Wedding stress?"

"That obvious?"

"I see how giddy Kid is. He would walk down that aisle this weekend if he could. You on the other hand, look like you could run at any moment."

"I'm scared of all the change that is coming. I don't know if I'm ready for it all at once. He wants kids right away. He wants me to stop riding and just be in the house. I'm scared to even think about it."

"Louise, honey, you can take it as slow as you want. You could wait months before you marry. You need to have a talk with him and let him know that you are scared."

"He would just push it all aside like he always does. He is a lost cause because he thinks he is always right."

"I know Kid is stubborn but he will respect your feelings."

"I ain't so sure."

"Louise, if you are having these feelings of doubt, don't marry him right now. Put it off and see if anything changes. When you marry someone, you can't have any regrets."

"Thanks Rachel. I need to be alone to think for a few."

"Louise, don't kill yourself over it."

"I won't." Lou said as she stood and left.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

"Boys, I need two volunteers to make a run over to Seneca. I got some bank documents that need to get there as quick as possible." Said Teaspoon.

"I'll go." Said Lou.

Teaspoon looked at her and nodded.

"Me too." Said Kid.

"You got a run so you can't go." Answered Teaspoon as he saw relief spread on Lou's face.

No one else spoke up. Lou looked at all the boys.

"Alright then. Lou, pick your other volunteer."

Lou looked around at the remaining riders.

"Jimmy."

"There ya go. Get ready."

Jimmy sighed. Lou went to the barn to get her horse. Teaspoon put his hand on Jimmy's shoulder.

"Jimmy, something is troubling my girl."

"Someone."

"I got ya."

"I'm sure I'll get an ear full of it."

"Good luck son and ride safe."

Jimmy grunted as he went to get his horse ready. He walked into the barn to get Sundance. He watched Lou as he began saddling his horse. He stopped and put his hands up on the horses back.

"Lou, why don't you just talk to him?"

"Cause I can't. He don't ever listen."

"He is the man you are gonna marry Lou. You can't go on for the rest of your lives not talking to each other about things."

"Just saddle up. We got a long ride."

Jimmy frowned and finished getting his horse ready. He didn't know what to make of all this.

Jimmy and Lou set off toward Seneca around noon. They pushed forward in silence until about dusk. Jimmy watched Lou during the ride. He had never seen her so unhappy, depressed almost. He pulled his horse to a stop next to a creek.

"Reckon we'll camp here tonight then head into town tomorrow. We should be able to leave early enough tomorrow to make it straight back."

"I'm not really in a hurry so it don't matter none to me."

Jimmy groaned and set about getting their camp ready. After getting a fire going, he slumped back against his saddle to eat some hardtack. Lou sat by the fire opposite him, picking at some grass. He watched her, scared to say anything. Lou stood.

"I'm going down to the creek."

"In the dark?"

"Yeah. I'll be back."

"Watch yourself, Lou. The water is high this time of year."

"Not you too." Lou said walking off.

Jimmy rubbed his face and sighed. He thought Kid would be the best choice for her but seeing Lou these last few weeks, had him rethinking everything. He laid his head back and closed his eyes when he heard a scream. He jumped up.

"Lou!" He yelled as he ran down to the water.

He heard her scream again. He scanned the water. He saw her hanging onto a fallen tree in the middle of the water. He didn't know what to do.

"Jimmy!" She yelled.

"Lou! I'm coming!"

Jimmy couldn't swim so he held onto the fallen tree and eased his way in the water. The water was moving fast. The creek swollen. He held on. He was almost to Lou when he realized that he could no longer touch bottom. He stopped for a minute to set his own panic aside. He pulled himself over to her. She grabbed onto him.

"I can't swim Lou! I'll try to pull us back over!"

His arms were growing tired and just when he thought he couldn't hold on any longer, he felt the bottom. He pulled and waded out the water with Lou clinging to his back. She eased down near the shallow edge. Jimmy looked at Lou panting.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" He yelled.

"I wanted to sit over the water."

"I told you to watch out! You can't be so careless!"

"It was a mistake! Just shut up!" Lou screamed and pushed Jimmy hard.

She watched as he lost his balance and flopped down into the deep mud. He looked up at her. She covered her mouth. She couldn't help it. She burst out laughing. Jimmy tried to hold his stare but he couldn't. He started laughing.

"Now look at me." Said Jimmy slinging the thick mud off his hands.

"I'm sorry." Laughed Lou.

Jimmy eased to his feet.

"You're gonna be sorry!" He laughed as he grabbed her before she could run.

He laughed as he held her still and rubbed mud all over her face. She got free and threw a handful at him. The friends played in the mud laughing. They made it over to the bank exhausted.

"Look at us. We can't go into town like this." Said Lou.

"I don't know what you plan on doing about it but it ain't my fault." Said Jimmy.

"Fine, give them up." Smiled Lou.

"I ain't giving you my clothes."

"Get your ass over there, get a blanket, and give me those muddy clothes. My offer to wash em ain't gonna last forever."

Jimmy looked at Lou. He got up and walked over to his horse. He got his blanket and stood behind his horse using it as a shield. Lou laughed.

"I've been in the same bunkhouse with you for over a year and now you are modest."

Jimmy eased out from behind the horse and gave Lou his clothes.

"It just feels different, ok. Here. Now go." He said pointing to the water.

"I'm going, I'm going. Be back in a few." Lou said as she grabbed her blanket and went down to rinse out their clothes.

While she was gone, Jimmy stretched his rope between two trees close to the fire for her to throw the wet clothes across for them to dry. He pulled his blanket tight as he watched the flames. Lou made her way back and threw the clothes over the line. She flopped down beside Jimmy.

"That was fun." She whispered.

"You think so?"

"I do. The most I've had in a while. Kid is so serious all the time.

"Lou, I know you're feeling scared and unsure right now but Kid is a good guy. He will treat you right."

"Only if I am no longer Lou but Louise. I'm scared to change me, Jimmy. I'm scared of getting married and having kids. The thought of it all scares me to death."

"I still think you need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel so y'all can work through this together."

"I can't talk with him the way I can talk to you."

"I always figured when a girl was getting married that she'd be excited about her man and her new life."

Lou watched the flames dance. She looked over at Jimmy staring at the fire. She scooted closer as she shivered. She lifted his arm and got under his blanket. They sat and watched the fire burn until both fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4

Jimmy and Lou made Seneca the next morning. Jimmy went to the bank and dropped off the papers. Lou waited outside for him.

"How bout some lunch?" She asked.

"Now that sounds like a plan."

They sat and ate. Jimmy watched Lou. She seemed content after their talk last night but today she was right back in that same down mood.

"You ready to head out? We should make the station before dark." Said Jimmy.

"Can we just kill time? I need one more night away from it all."

"I guess if that's what you want to do but just know that you have to face it sometime."

"Sometime just not tonight."

Jimmy nodded. They walked around town some before riding back out. Jimmy made camp at the same place they had the night before. Lou walked over to where Jimmy was sitting. She pulled out a napkin which held some biscuits. She offered one to him. They sat and watched the water flow.

"Thanks for stopping one more night. I know it ain't fun sleeping on the hard ground. I just wanted a little more time to myself."

"Anything to make you happy, Lou. I am telling you. Talk with Kid when we get back. Y'all will be fine."

Lou nodded and laid her head on Jimmy's shoulder as they watched the sun go down.

"I reckon when we get back, I'll have to pick a date." She mumbled.

"You don't have to do anything. Just do it when you're ready."

"I can't let Kid down. I accepted his proposal so now I have to follow through on it. If I don't then I'll just be a coward and a disappointment."

"You are far from that Lou. You are the bravest woman that I know. The only problem that you have is that you try to make everyone else happy without making yourself happy. Do it when you're ready. Don't worry so much. Kid will treat you like a queen. You know that."

Lou looked over at Jimmy.

"I don't want to be a queen. I want to be me. I want to ride and shoot. I want to help out during hard times and I don't know, just be me."

Jimmy nodded knowing he couldn't win any argument with her. The stars came out so Jimmy looked up at the sky. Lou watched him look up. She reached over and pulled his face down to hers. Jimmy looked in her face. Lou slid closer and kissed him softly on the lips. Jimmy wrapped his arms around her. He pulled away quickly.

"What are you doin?"

"Kissin you."

"You are marrying Kid. This feels wrong, bad."

"Ain't you a bad boy?"

Lou kissed him again. Jimmy didn't fight this time. He pulled her tight to him. Lou softly moaned. He had wanted her for so long. He lost it. He pushed her back onto the ground. As a shooting star ran across the sky, the two lost themselves in each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch 5

Lou woke up first the next morning sprawled across Jimmy. She ran her hand up his chest. He grunted. She smiled. She eased her way up taking one of the blankets. She dressed and went to answer the call of nature. When she returned, Jimmy was pulling his shirt on. Lou walked over and kissed him again.

"Better stop that. We need to hit the trail fore they send out a search party."

"I know. I'm about ready."

They got their things packed and mounted their horses. Jimmy turned to Louise.

"Lou, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"I ain't the marrying type, Lou. Don't look at me for that. I can't ever have that life."

"I know, you've said it before."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did."

"For what? For that? Don't be. I been wanting it a long time."

"Is that so?"

"It is if you must know, you just wouldn't give me the time of day."

"I'd always give you the time of day, Lou. I just can't give you the life that I know you deserve. That's why we can never be together. Anyway, my life will be over once Kid finds out."

"Who says that he has to know. I sure as hell don't."

"If you say so. I'd rather like to live a little longer."

They rode steady and talked most of the way back home. Kid and Teaspoon were waiting in the yard when they rode in.

"Thank God! I was expecting you yesterday." Said Kid.

"Things happen." Replied Lou leading her horse into the barn with Kid running behind.

Teaspoon walked over to Jimmy.

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, Lou wanted to have one more night to think."

"I got ya. She has been really tormented about planning this wedding."

"It's a big change. She'll be ok. We talked so I think she has it all worked out now."

"Good to hear."

Jimmy walked into the barn and tied his horse beside Lou's. Kid and Lou were in the corner.

"I was worried Louise! I talked with Teaspoon about you riding. It might be best for you to go ahead and quit."

Jimmy closed his eyes. He tried to hurry with his horse so he could run.

"I'll quit when I'm damn good and ready. I'm so tired of your stupid whining! Don't worry about me, I got this!" Lou yelled.

She pushed past Kid and stormed out the barn to Rachel's house. Jimmy hid behind his horse. Kid took over taking care of Lightning.

"What did I do wrong, Jimmy? Is it wrong to worry over someone that you love?"

"No Kid, it ain't wrong. What is wrong is trying to change the person you love."

"What should I do?"

"Stop nagging her. Give her some room. Encourage her instead of trying to stop her. She'll come around."

"Thanks Jimmy."

"Anytime."

The riders gathered for supper that night. Cody was rambling on about the new school teacher and Buck was telling them of some Indian trouble that he heard about on his run. Everything was fine. Lou was laughing at Cody. She was sitting by Kid. Everyone seemed happy until Kid opened his mouth.

"While you were gone, I spoke with the preacher. He said he could marry us in two weeks at the church."

"What?"

"He said he could do the ceremony in two weeks. You need to go ahead and find you a dress." Smiled Kid.

"Why would you do that?!"

"I thought maybe it was the stress of having to plan everything so I figured I could help you."

Lou slammed her fork on the table causing everyone to jump.

"Ain't that just grand!" She screamed as she went out the door.

Kid went to get up but Teaspoon grabbed him arm.

"Sit down, Kid. Give her a few."

"I thought I was helping."

"You're not helping, you are pushing." Said Jimmy.

"I'm trying not to! I am trying to help!"

"I'm going to talk to her and bring her back in. Be right back."

Jimmy stood and walked out after Lou. He walked over to the barn.

"Lou?"

"Up here."

He climbed up in the hay loft. She was sitting in the dark in the far corner looking out at the night. He sat beside her.

"He was only trying to help." Smiled Jimmy.

"Don't you dare side with him." Lou said hitting his shoulder.

"You need to talk to him."

"I know I do. I just got mad as hell. I'm going to tomorrow."

"Good. Now come on back and eat."

"I ain't ready yet. Don't you start telling me what to do."

"I wouldn't do that."

"I know." Lou turned to look at Jimmy.

She pushed him down on his back in the hay and got on top of him. She kissed him hard. Jimmy pushed her back.

"We can't do this here."

"Yes we can." Lou said as she started undoing his shirt.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6

Lou talked with Kid over the next few days. He didn't understand why she was so scared of change but to make her happy, he had decided to let her decide on their wedding date. Lou was grooming Lightning along with Ike when Cody came riding in. Noah took the pouch and was off.

"Y'all seen Hickok?"

"He was out back shooting cans. Why?" Answered Buck.

"Why! Because someone told me that he has been sweet talking Miss Lydia, the new school teacher. I saw her first. That's why."

Lou laughed and shook her head.

"You bout to take Hickok on?" Smirked Buck.

"Heck no. I just wanted him to know that I saw her first. I'm gonna win her heart. It's on." Cody said as he swung down.

"Here comes your chance to tell em." Said Lou smiling as Jimmy walked around the corner.

"Go ahead Cody or are ya chicken?" Taunted Buck.

"Watch me." Cody said as he met Hickok half way.

Buck and Lou watched trying not to laugh.

"You're in my way Cody."

"I got a bone to pick with you."

"You do, huh. Well let's hear it."

"Thompkins said you were sweet talkin Lydia. I want you to know that I don't appreciate it one bit."

"Well Thompkins is a liar. I don't even know that girl."

"Why would he lie? You think you can fool me to let my guard down and you win her over. It ain't gonna work."

"Move aside Cody."

"Not til you back off."

"Ain't nothing to back off of, so move."

"You always do this. You get the girl then you throw her down like she don't account for nothing. I ain't gonna let you do it this time!"

Jimmy frowned at Cody's last remark. Buck lost his smile, so did Lou.

"I ain't a heartless bastard if that's what you are trying to say. I ain't talking to that girl and I don't ever plan on it." He shoved Cody down in the dirt and walked away toward the pond.

"Cody, I think Thompkins is wrong. I think you need to stop." Said Buck.

Lou ran off behind Jimmy. Buck watched her go. She had been spending a lot of time with him lately.

Lou came up on Jimmy as he slumped down by the water. She eased up and sat beside him.

"You ain't heartless." She said.

"Maybe I am."

"You're not. You're a good man."

"Look what we have been doing behind Kid's back. I am heartless to do my friend that way."

"If you are heartless then I am too."

Jimmy looked at Lou. She stared back in his eyes. He leaned forward and she met his kiss halfway. She laid on her back as he climbed on top. She moaned as they found each other again by the pond.

Buck thought Lou and Jimmy should have been back by now. He walked down to the pond. He saw Jimmy buttoning his shirt. He blinked his eyes. Lou was straightening her hair. Maybe they had just fell asleep but his fear was realized as Lou wrapped her arms around Jimmy to kiss him. If she loved Jimmy, why was she marrying Kid and how could they do this behind his back? Buck eased his way back toward the station, not saying a word.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch 7

Another two months went by. Kid was still patiently waiting on Lou. The riders gathered around the table that night. Buck watched Jimmy as he ate. The secret was slowly killing him. He had seen them slip away on more than one more occasion. It seemed to be a regular thing.

"Boys, the telegraph seems to be making faster head way than we thought. We might not have a job this time next week." Said Teaspoon.

Everyone looked at their plates, hating for this to be over. The fear of their family separating was gnawing at them.

"What are you gonna do Teaspoon?" Asked Cody.

"I'm gonna stay on here as Marshal. Rachel is gonna stay as well."

All eyes fell on Rachel. She smiled as she held her hand up.

"Oh my God! Congrats!" Squealed Lou as she hugged her.

"We are gonna be married next weekend." Smiled Rachel.

"What if we have a double wedding?" Asked Lou quietly.

Everyone including Kid looked at her in shock.

"I mean if you don't want to, that's ok."

"Want to! I'd love that!"

"Then it's settled." Smiled Lou.

Kid hugged her tight. Buck saw her look over at Jimmy. He smiled like nothing was wrong.

After supper, everyone spread out over the station. Kid found Jimmy watching a horse run in the corral.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I just wanted to thank you for making me see the way with Lou and not pushing her."

"I knew it would come with time."

"Thanks for being my friend."

Jimmy nodded and turned back to the corral as Kid walked off. He walked into the barn to check the lanterns before bed when Lou came up behind him.

"Jimmy?"

"Yeah, Lou."

"I need to ask something as well and if you can't do it then I'll understand."

"What is it?"

"Will you give me away at the wedding?"

Jimmy looked down at her and swallowed hard. He took a deep breath.

"Anything for you."

Lou looked up at him with tears in her eyes. He stared back at her.

"Where are you gonna go, once this is over?"

"Teaspoon asked me to stay on as his deputy. Reckon I'll do that for a while til something else comes up."

"Kid has been making payments on a farm this side of Kansas."

"You're moving away?"

"It's only bout a days ride. I have to go with my soon to be husband." She said as a tear fell.

"Don't cry Lou. I told you that I can't give you that life. He can."

"Will I still see you?"

"As often as I can. I can't stay away."

Lou grabbed his hand and led him up to the loft once again. He followed, knowing he would never be able to stop.


	8. Chapter 8

Ch 8

The next two weeks seemed to fly by and with it, the end of the express. Cody had enlisted in the army and would be leaving soon after the wedding. Buck and Ike had decided to stay on the station. Teaspoon and Rachel had agreed for them to stay and start raising their own horses. Once they were able, they would buy and move to their own ranch. Noah had started courting the new school teacher that Cody had so desperately pursued much to his dismay. He had decided to take over the blacksmith shop as the old man wanted to retire. Jimmy would stay in the room on the back of the jail.

The day of the wedding had arrived. Kid and Teaspoon stood by the door of the church greeting the townsfolk. Rachel was waiting in a room off to the side with Cody who was walking her down the aisle. Jimmy walked into the room with Lou. She smiled as he walked in.

"I thought you weren't going to show for a minute." Said Lou.

"I wouldn't do you like that. I told you once before that I'd do anything for you even give you away to another man."

"Jimmy if you would say the word, I'd run with you right now."

"I told you, I can't give you that kind of life. I never know how long I'm gonna be here and I could never place that burden on anyone."

"Even though I can't be with you, doesn't mean that I won't worry. I love you Jimmy."

"I can't ever say those words to you. You know that."

"Please don't let this be the end of us."

"I don't think we should keep doing this. You will be married and to a man who considers me a friend. It's probably for the best to end it today."

Lou's eyes teared up. It was her wedding day but she felt like her heart was being ripped out. She walked closer to Jimmy and kissed him.

"If this has to end today, then give me one last happy moment."

"We can't. You have to go out in just a few minutes and we are in the church."

"Jimmy, one last time." Lou whispered.

Jimmy grunted as he pulled her close and kissed her hard. She untucked his shirt and ran her hands up his chest.

"My dress, it's hard to get off." Moaned Lou.

Jimmy looked at the dress. He spun her around and pushed her down on the desk. He threw her skirts over her back. She put her hand over her mouth as she found happiness one last time.

Lou was smoothing out her skirts and helping Jimmy fix his shirt when the door opened. Buck stuck his head in.

"It's time. Y'all ready?"

"Give us just a minute. We'll be right out." Said Lou.

Buck looked at their appearance. He couldn't believe them and in the church on her wedding day. He couldn't tell Kid. He didn't know how.

"We were gettin too bold anyways." Mumbled Jimmy.

"Not bold enough for my taste." Laughed Lou kissing Jimmy one last time.

"It's time to go."

"I know. Please just one more."

Jimmy pulled Lou close and kissed her long. He breathed her in as she did him.

He held out his arm. She took it as they walked out to meet Rachel and Cody at the front of the church. Rachel smiled at Lou but saw the tears in her eyes. The music started and soon they were both married.


	9. Chapter 9

Ch 9

The following week saw Cody ride off to join up with the army. Heartfelt goodbyes were passed around. Noah moved his things into the blacksmith shop in town. Jimmy packed his things and moved to the room in the back of the Marshal's office. Kid and Lou were getting their horses ready to head over to their new house. Lou looked over the station one last time. Teaspoon, Rachel, Buck, and Ike walked over.

"Got everything?" Asked Teaspoon.

"I think so. We should be there by nightfall." Said Kid smiling.

"Louise, please come back and visit often. We'll come see you too." Said Rachel trying not to cry.

Louise hugged Rachel tight then Teaspoon. She hugged Buck and Ike as well. She mounted Lightning.

"Kid, can we stop in town first. I'd like to see Noah and Jimmy."

"We can do that."

They waved bye and rode through town. They spoke with Noah. Lou hugged him. They rode on to the Marshal's office. Jimmy walked outside when they pulled up. Lou jumped down and ran to him. She pulled him in a bear hug. Jimmy finally stepped back. He shook hands with Kid.

"Please come visit us." Said Lou.

"I will. I promise."

Kid and Lou rode off out of town. Jimmy stood and watched them go until he couldn't see them anymore. He went back to work, hoping that Lou would have a family and the stable life that he knew he could never give her.

Ten months went by before Jimmy made the trip to see Lou. He asked Teaspoon who agreed that he needed a break. He said he had promised Lou that he would visit and he wanted to check in on them. He left early one morning and rode straight through. He asked about them in town and the man at the store gladly gave him directions to their house. Jimmy rode along the tree lined drive to a small two story home. It looked to be well kept. He pulled to a stop at the white picket fence. He tied his horse and heard squealing as he went to turn around. Lou was running down the steps. She wrapped her arms around him.

"What took you so long?!" She asked.

"Time got away. I didn't have the nerve to come sooner. I'm sorry."

"Jimmy Hickok didn't have the nerve. Now I've heard it all. Come on in."

Jimmy followed her inside the house. It held very little furniture. It was very clean to say the least.

"Where's Kid?"

"He ran over to Kearney."

"Lou, that's a five day ride from here."

"I know. I don't care." She said as she went in the kitchen.

Jimmy followed her. He looked at the small amount of plates and things. He noticed the small amount of food in the pantry.

"Y'all doing ok out here Lou?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You can't hide it from me Lou. You never could. What's going on?"

Lou turned around to face Jimmy.

"It's miserable here. I'm miserable here. He stays gone and when he does come home, he doesn't act like himself. We had a good business going here. We built it up. But then he got to gambling. He has lost most of it. All we have left is the house and an empty barn. He even lost Katy and Lightning."

Jimmy listened frowning.

"Then I had the babies."

"Babies?"

"Yeah. Twins. Two girls."

"That's wonderful Lou."

"I thought so but he got angry. Mad because they were girls and not boys."

"How could he get mad at his kids like that?" Asked Jimmy getting angry.

"That's the problem. He knows they ain't his."

Jimmy stared at Lou.

"What Jimmy? Did ya think we could sleep around for a few months and not have nothing happen?"

"No it's not that. I'm sorry. This is my fault."

"It ain't. He says he will come to accept it to save name. He says he will treat them like his own."

"Lou, do you want to stay here? You could always go to Rachel. She would help you."

"What about you?"

"Lou..."

Lou didn't let him finish as she ran over to jump in his arms. She kissed him feverishly. Jimmy couldn't tell her no. He never could. He laid her down on her kitchen table as they lost themselves once again.


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 10

Jimmy stood looking at the twins as they slept. They were only about two months old and so little.

"What are their names?" He asked.

"Emma and Jamie."

"That's nice names Lou."

"You can come visit as often as you like when Kid is gone."

"Lou, why don't you just leave here and go to Teaspoon?"

"I'm not a failure. I can't leave Kid like that. I've already did him wrong but maybe if I can give him a child of his own then he will become himself again. He will get our farm running and back on top. He knows he made a mistake. It will turn around for us."

Jimmy watched her face as she spoke.

"I'm going back. I can't look Kid in the eye."

Lou nodded. She understood.

"Just come back. Please, sometime."

Jimmy nodded and walked out. He stared at her standing on the porch before he rode off. He didn't make it halfway home before he stopped to make camp. He ended up at his camp for three days. He needed to see her again. He mounted and rode back to the house. He still didn't see Kid home. Lou heard a horse and looked outside. She smiled when she saw Jimmy. He got off his horse and walked back to her.

"I had to see you. One more time." He said.

Lou didn't wait for anything else, she ran to him knocking him on the ground. She pulled off his shirt right in the front yard. She ran her hands all over him. They lost themselves to each other's love again.

Lou stood after their romp in the grass. She straightened her skirt. She heard the girls.

"I've got to go. I need to get the girls."

"I'll come help you."

Lou looked shocked but she grinned. Jimmy buttoned his shirt as they went into get them. Lou undid her dress and started feeding Emma while Jimmy walked around with Jamie trying to keep her from crying. Lou handed him Emma and got Jamie to let her eat. She watched Jimmy with his girls. Girls that he knew he wouldn't ever raise. She let the tears fall as she watched him with his daughters. As he turned around, she quickly wiped her eyes.

"I've got to go. Really this time."

"I know. Kid should be home soon."

Jimmy kissed each of his girls then he kissed Lou.

"Goodbye Lou."

"I love you Jimmy."

"I know." He said as he mounted up and rode away.


	11. Chapter 11

Ch 11

Jimmy visited Lou more the next few months, always waiting for Kid to leave. He had the guilt eating at him regularly now and finally decided it best to stay away from her. During that time, two men had come to town looking for Hickok serving a reminder as to why he couldn't have that life. Lou was safe this way and so were his girls.

It had now been almost a year since his last visit. He had several women after his attention but he paid them no mind. He belonged to one woman. One he couldn't have. Noah was happily married now with a son. Buck had recently married but no kids yet and Ike was courting a girl from town. Jimmy had told Teaspoon that it was time for him to move on. He couldn't stay here anymore. Tonight was his last night as deputy. He stood in the street and looked around the town that had been his home.

Buck and Ike were working on finishing Buck's new house. They had saved all of their money and bought the land next to Teaspoon and Rachel with their blessing. Buck being newly married was building a new house. Ike tapped Buck and pointed to the horizon. A trail of dust was coming their way. Buck ran over to Teaspoon's. All three men waited in the yard to see who it was. Rachel stood on her porch to see as well. The wagon pulled to a stop.

"Can we help you?" Asked Teaspoon.

"Y'all might can."

"Louise!" Screamed Rachel running off the porch.

Louise pulled her hat off as Rachel hugged her. Teaspoon, Buck, and Ike smiling. She hugged each of them.

"It's so good to see you."

"It's good to see y'all too."

"Goodness, you have filled out some and look at how long your hair is!" Rachel said as she hugged her again.

"Louise this is the best surprise." Said Teaspoon.

"How long will you be staying?" Asked Rachel.

"Well that's the problem. I was hoping I could stay a while. I didn't have anywhere else to go and..."

"Shhhh, let's get you on inside. You don't even have to ask."

"But it ain't just me."

Rachel looked around. Lou went to the back of the wagon as the others followed. She helped two twin girls out. Then she climbed in back and handed Rachel a little boy. Rachel pulled him close.

"Oh my, they are precious. They are gorgeous."

"These are my daughter's, Emma and Jamie. They are almost two." The girls took off and Buck had to run them down.

"Sorry, they are a handful since they started walking. That is my son, Matt. He's almost seven months."

"You've had your hands full. Where's Kid?" Asked Teaspoon.

"Honestly, I don't know."

"You don't know."

"Nope and I'm tired. I don't want to talk about it right now."

Buck looked at the kids. He looked at Lou as she unloaded their small belongings.

"Jimmy working?" Lou asked.

"Lou, he left this morning. He said he needed to move on." Answered Teaspoon as Lou's face fell.

Two days later, Ike sat outside playing with Lou's girls in the dirt. Lou walked over to the familiar barn. She leaned back against the wall. The happy memories coming back. She saw Buck walk over.

"Buck, Lynn is great. I love her already."

"She is pretty great." Buck laughed.

"I'm so happy for you."

"Lou, what happened to Kid?"

"Nothing that I know of."

Lou turned and walked away dismissing him. Teaspoon walked in from town and saw Rachel in her swing holding Matt. He went to sit with them.

"He's so beautiful." Said Rachel.

"That he is darling. I think Ike has found him some new friends." He said watching them drawing in the dirt.

"You are right about that."

Teaspoon watched the girls and Ike. He looked down at the baby then back to the girls.

"You see it too?" Asked Rachel.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't give me that, I know you do."

"I been thinking that they don't really resemble Kid at all."

"No they don't. Look at them Teaspoon. They aren't Kid's children. Take a hard look. I noticed right off."

"Maybe they take after Lou?"

"You know better than that."

"You think they're Jimmy's?"

"Yeah, all three."

"Oh my God."

"Apparently there was a dirty little secret going on here behind our backs. If we can see then you know Kid could."

"My Lord. How could they do this?"

"Love."

"We need to find Jimmy and bring him back home."

"My thoughts exactly."


	12. Chapter 12

Ch 12

Jimmy rode on to Lou's house. He eased his way into the clearing. He looked for Kid like he always did when he had came. The house looked empty. He rode closer. The house was abandoned. He sat for a moment remembering Lou. He felt a lump in his throat and an ache in his chest. He turned his horse and rode away knowing that he would probably never see her or his girls again.

Lou sat by the corral holding Matt watching the horses play. Buck walked up beside her.

"I've missed this Buck. So much."

"We certainly missed you."

"Why didn't any of you come visit us?"

"Kid wrote us a letter bout four months after y'all moved telling us not to come."

"Why would he do that? I don't understand."

"He told us you were having some problems that you didn't want us to know about and that he would write when you were better then we could come. We never got another letter."

"Lies Buck. You should have known better."

"Lou, Teaspoon thought it best to let y'all work out whatever you had going on as a family. As for me, I didn't know if I could face Kid."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I knew Lou. About Jimmy."

Lou's face dropped and she turned her head.

"Why Lou? How could you do that to Kid? I can see these aren't even his kids."

"I don't know Buck." Lou started crying. " It just I had all these feelings about marriage and Jimmy was there for me. It just happened. Once it happened, I knew I loved Jimmy more than I could imagine. We saw each other the entire time I wore Kid's ring." Lou cried.

"I know. I walked up on you at the pond that day. Lou, even right before your wedding."

"I know. I should have walked away but by then I knew I was already pregnant. That's why I picked a date. Jimmy said he wasn't the marrying type so I couldn't be an unwed pregnant woman. My child would have been taunted the rest of it's life so I married Kid. Thought I could pass the baby off as his."

"But he knew didn't he."

"He was so happy at first. We had a good thing going. We had an expected problem come up. He started gambling to try to make some quick money. A little at first then more and more. He lost all our remaining stock even Lightning and Katy. I cried when he took them away. Then the girls were born and it seemed like he knew right off. I don't know how but he looked at them and left. He came home three days later."

"Did you tell him, Lou?"

"He asked constantly. I finally told him and told him how sorry I was. He agreed to raise them to save me from harm. But he wasn't the same."

"And how about Matt?"

"Jimmy came to visit. It all kind of happened again. I told him the girls were his. He stayed a day before leaving us. He said we would be safe with Kid. Kid would take care of us. I did wrong, Buck. I saw Jimmy a few more times after that and well, Matt happened. The day Matt was born, Kid was so happy for it being a boy. Then he looked at him, stormed off. He never came back." Lou hung her head and cried.

"I just don't know why you would even marry him but see another man."

"I knew it would end badly but seeing Jimmy was the only happiness that I had."

"I'm sorry Lou."

"Ain't no one's fault but my own. When our food ran out, I came here on hopes of seeing Jimmy and maybe getting him to reconsider everything. Foolish, I know."

"What are you going to do?"

.

"I don't have a clue." Lou said wiping her eyes.

"I'm going to talk with Teaspoon. Maybe I can catch up with Jimmy and talk to him. Make him see."

"He once told me that he could never say those three words back to me. He walked away from me and his girls. He was willing to let another man raise them, Buck. He feels like he can't give us a good safe life. He won't come back. I haven't seen him in almost a year now. He gave up."

"He has been acting lost the last year. I still have to try for you."

"Don't Buck."

"You don't need to do this alone."

"That's what I deserve. I am a stupid girl who slept with her husband's best friend more times than I can count and then had his children. I ain't nothing but a whore and a screw up." Lou stood up and walked back towards Rachel's.

Buck watched her go. He would talk with Teaspoon and Lynn. He needed to try to find Jimmy.


	13. Chapter 13

Ch 13

Lou sat with Rachel at her table the next day while the kids were napping. She had told Rachel everything that had happened. Rachel just sat and listened, crying when Lou cried.

"What am I going to do?"

"You will stay right here with us. I love helping with the kids. It will work out."

"I ain't pulling my weight around here. I am broke. I need to find a job but what would I do with the kids."

"Can you still ride as good as you used to?" Teaspoon asked from behind them.

Lou jumped and turned around.

"Maybe, why?"

"Well since Buck and Ike have bought their land, they have doubled in the amount of horses that they have. They were looking at hiring two hands to help out here. I'm thinking we already found one."

"I don't know if I can. I mean, the kids."

"The kids are already taken care of." Smiled Rachel.

"Buck and Ike might not agree with that."

"They already have. You've been hired, you just didn't know it yet. I mean, you know how to ride, you can mend tack, and reshoe a horse better than anybody. Why let that go to waste."

"Plus, you will be right here with the kids if I need help. You won't miss any time with them." Said Rachel.

Lou started crying as she stood to hug Teaspoon. He rubbed her back.

"Ike just got back with some new stock. Maybe you can help him put them away." Said Teaspoon winking at Rachel.

"I'd love to." Lou said as she turned to walk outside.

She saw Ike standing next to the corral with Buck. She walked over smiling. As she got closer, the two boys stepped apart. Lou almost fell to her knees. Lightning and Katy were standing in the corral.

"How?"

"We went to buy a few horses from a trading barn. Overheard a man there trying to sell two horses saying no one could ride them. Ike saw those two right there so I bought them for you."

"Oh my God. I don't have words." Lou cried.

"You will never lose them again Lou."

Lou ran and hugged Buck then Ike.

"We love you Louise. You will always have a place here." Said Teaspoon.

Lou nodded her head and looked at her family, smiling through the tears. If only one more horse would make it's way back to this corral.

Buck kissed Lynn goodbye to ready for his trip.

"I'll be back soon. Maybe a few weeks."

"Just be careful and find him. Come on back."

"You know I will."

Buck rode away without telling Lou that he was going. She would try to stop him but this thing was killing him inside and either Jimmy would see the light or he would drag him home. Buck rode out to Lou's old house. He looked at the house where she and Kid had lived now empty.

Buck rode for three days until he came to the next town. He asked around about Jimmy but no one had seen or heard of him. Buck checked three more towns with nothing. He knew it was a lost cause. Without any direction, he didn't know where to start looking. He had to get back to the ranch and Lynn. He stopped in a small town for a few supplies on his way home. The man that ran the store recognized him from before.

"That friend of yours that you were asking about, I think it was him that came through here yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Buck said getting excited.

"I think so. He had two guns like you said and long brown hair. Black hat and riding a palomino."

"That sure sounds like him. Did you see where he went?"

"Rode east out of town. I tried to ask but all he said was he was trying to get back home. He didn't look too good if ya ask me but he wouldn't take any help I offered."

"Was he hurt?"

"Something was wrong. He bought a few things and left. Didn't get much but he looked like he could hardly go. He didn't say nothing else, just paid and left."

"East, you say?"

"Yeah east toward Nebraska."


	14. Chapter 14

Ch 14

Buck paid for his supplies and rode out of town. He rode for quite a few miles until he heard a horse off to the side. He looked over and just about fell. There was a palomino off to the side. He eased over not knowing if it was indeed Jimmy. The horse looked over at Buck and seemed to recognize him. Buck saw the man laying in the grass next to the horse. He knew it was Jimmy.

"Jimmy?"

Buck rolled him over on his back.

"Jimmy?"

He didn't respond. Buck looked him over. He pulled his coat to the side. He had a nasty looking gunshot wound to his shoulder and it looked like he had a graze to his side as well. Both were bleeding through his shirt. Buck went about building a fire. Once he had a good one going, he rolled Jimmy onto a blanket. He finally was able to get his coat off. He then took off his shirt. Jimmy had looked to have cleaned the wounds as best he could and wrapped them. They looked to be a few days old. Buck cleaned them again with the water from his canteen. The one to his side looked good. The wound to his shoulder looked bad. Buck leaned in close. The lead was still in there. It looked like Jimmy had tried to remove it himself but failed. Buck started heating his knife in the fire when Jimmy stirred.

"Jimmy? It's me, Buck."

"Buck?"

"Yeah it's me. What happened?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you."

"I'm glad you were." Whispered Jimmy.

"I have to get the lead out. It's infected."

"I tried. I couldn't. In my bags, I bought medicine."

"It's gonna hurt."

Jimmy closed his eyes. Buck sat on Jimmy's chest and arms to hold him in place. He reached over and got his knife. Jimmy yelled as Buck stuck the tip of his knife in his shoulder. Buck felt with his fingers until he found what he was looking for. He held the lead up to show Jimmy. He looked at him and weakly nodded. Buck cleaned the wound and put the powder on it that Jimmy had bought. Jimmy began trembling and soon passed out. Buck wrapped him up and put a blanket over him.

Jimmy woke to see Buck cooking some rabbits over the fire. He groaned as he tried to sit up some. Buck walked over and helped ease him up. He put his saddle behind him for support.

"You look somewhat better this morning." Said Buck.

"Don't feel it though."

"Want to tell me what happened. Why didn't you get help in town?"

"I'm in trouble, Buck. Bad."

"That why you were heading home?"

"I screwed up. I thought if I could get to Teaspoon, he might could help me. I thought better of it so I was going to go the other way. Reckon I fell."

"What did you do?"

"I turned in a fella for a bounty right after I left. Figured it was easy money so I thought I'd go after another one. The marshal said he'd pay me six hundred dollars for that man. I took the job."

"You became a hired gun."

"Sort of. It suited me with my past. People know my name. When I found the guy, I tried to take him in but there were a whole lot of men with him. He tried to run. Men started shooting, I shot back. I killed him but it wasn't him. It was his brother. I was hit. I ran."

"Jimmy, who was it?"

"Rick Johnson."

"The Rick Johnson?"

Jimmy swallowed and nodded.

"He is deadly Jimmy."

"Yeah, and now he's looking for me."

Jimmy closed his eyes. Buck waited just a moment.

"Why were you looking for me?" He asked with his eyes still closed.

"Lou's home."

Jimmy opened them and looked at Buck.

"Jimmy, she came home with your kids."

Jimmy looked at his hands. He closed his eyes.

"Buck, I can explain."

"You don't have to. Lou told us everything. Kid left her and didn't come back."

"He just left?"

"Right after she gave birth to your son."

Jimmy looked like he was going to pass out. He didn't say anything.

"You heard me. Your son. How could you sleep with her behind Kid's back all this time! I knew about y'all before she even married. How could you let her marry him?"

"I was scared for her and them. Trouble seems to follow me and it would only be a matter of time before it found them. I thought Kid would keep them safe."

"And yet you could still see her?"

Jimmy looked away. He frowned and shook his head.

"Like Cody said, I am a heartless bastard. Go home Buck. Thanks for helping me but go home. I can't go home knowing she is there with the trouble I got shadowing me."

"You are going home."

"I'm not. Go home."

Jimmy had started shaking so he laid his head back and closed his eyes. Buck watched as he fell asleep. He wanted to knock some sense into his head. He had to get him home. If he didn't, those men would find him and kill him.


	15. Chapter 15

Ch 15

Jimmy woke the next morning before Buck. He eased himself up holding his breath. He had walked over to his horse when Buck spoke.

"You know you ain't going to get far."

Jimmy grunted and stopped.

"I'm taking you home. Lou needs you. Those kids, your kids, need you."

"They don't need me. They need a father who won't get shot in the back at any day."

"That ain't true and you know it! Lou loves you for God's sake! Kid left her and now she is raising your kids all alone! You created this mess for her and you're damn sure gonna fix it!" Yelled Buck.

"I can't go home, not now. I went and got myself in a fine mess, Buck, with my stupidity all over again. I am so stupid." Jimmy leaned against his horse.

Buck walked over next to him.

"I love her. I have always loved her but I couldn't promise a future. I still can't. I do stupid shit. Look what I did to her and to Kid. Look what I've went and done now."

"Why did you do this to start with? You had a job and you were with us."

"Because I was selfish. I couldn't stand watching all of y'all be happy. When I left, I went straight to Lou's but she wasn't there anymore. I felt like I died right there knowing I'd never see her again. Then I just didn't care, I went and did this stupid shit. Fuck!" Yelled Jimmy.

"Calm down. Please sit. First off, you're not well enough to ride. Second, you can't take on an entire gang of men on your own. Third, you're coming home with me where you belong."

Jimmy looked at Buck.

"We can't stay here. They'll find me. That's why I couldn't stay in town. They are close on my heels."

"Then I guess we'll have to go as quick and hard as you can."

Jimmy nodded as he sat while Buck saddled his horse. Jimmy was already sweating and they hadn't even began their trip yet. Buck finished and knelt down by Jimmy.

"I still ain't too sure about you making the trip. You still have fever and that wound is gonna open up again. You can't afford to lose any more blood."

"If we don't get moving, then all our blood is gonna be on this ground. This man will stop at nothing to kill me."

"Come on, let's get you up on your horse. We will lose them on the way home. We can hide you there while Teaspoon comes up with something."

Jimmy nodded as Buck helped him on his horse. They set out at a steady pace. As they rode for half the day, Jimmy got increasingly sick. He wiped the sweat off his brow and pushed forward. He felt every step that his horse took. He pulled to a stop. Buck rode up beside him as he leaned over to vomit. He slowly straightened back up on his horse and wiped his mouth. Buck looked at how he slumped forward.

"We need to stop for the day. You can't take anymore."

"I'm sorry, I'm sick."

Buck looked around for a good spot to camp out of sight. He saw a pocketed stand of trees.

"Stay here. I'm going to ride over and see if we can hide out there."

Jimmy slightly nodded as Buck rode over. After deciding it would work, he went back to Jimmy.

"That should be fine. Another day and we should make it back home."

Jimmy nodded but didn't make a move. Buck watched him. He reached over and got his reins, leading his horse to the trees. Buck made camp and they slept through the night.

Buck was already up saddling horses when Jimmy woke. He turned tired eyes to Buck.

"You look some better, got some color back."

Jimmy grunted.

"I'm gonna check that shoulder before we go."

Jimmy didn't bother to answer as Buck came over.

"Looks fine. You ready."

"Looks like I'll have to be." Said Jimmy looking in the distance.

Buck turned and saw the cloud of dust.


	16. Chapter 16

Ch 16

Buck threw the rest of their things together on the horses. He ran over to Jimmy. He helped him up and over to his horse. He watched Jimmy with worry on his face.

"You should go, Buck. I ain't gonna be able to out run them. This is my punishment for what I have done in the past. Just ride home to your wife. I'll be fine."

"I know a place to hide. It's not far. Come on."

"Buck just go!"

"I ain't leaving you. It would kill Louise and I ain't doing that!"

Buck grabbed Jimmy's rein to make sure that he didn't turn away. He rode as fast as he could toward the canyons. The canyon floor would have water this time of year and make it hard for anyone to track them. Buck led them down a narrow way to the water. The water came half way up the horses legs. Buck slowed them but pushed forward. When they got to the end, Buck pushed the horses up a rocky incline leaving no tracks. He brought them to a small cave a good ways up. He jumped off his horse and pulled Jimmy down. He helped him into the back of the cave. He then led their horses inside. Jimmy fell back against the wall slowly sliding to the ground. Buck eased his way to the mouth of the cave in order to look outside.

"I don't see anyone. I think we lost them. They won't find us here. I don't know what we are gonna do tomorrow. Reckon I'll ride out and see if I see them then I'll come back for you." Buck said.

Jimmy didn't answer him. Buck looked over his shoulder but couldn't see him in the darkness. He walked back in. He saw him crumpled onto the hard rock in the back of the cave.

"Jimmy?!" Whispered Buck as he rushed over.

Jimmy still didn't answer. Buck got down in front of him. He had passed out. He was wet from sweat. Buck touched his head. He still had a fever. He opened his coat. The wound to his shoulder had started bleeding again from the hard riding. Buck grabbed Jimmy's bedroll and pulled him onto it. He took the bandage off the wound. He cleaned it with what little water they had left. He only had his extra shirt left so he used it to wrap it again. He stood and left Jimmy to sleep.

Jimmy opened his eyes to the darkly lit cave the following day. He was alone. He groaned as he pushed himself up. He sat for a minute before standing. He held onto the wall with his good arm as he made his way to the mouth of the cave. Buck's horse was gone. He wove unsteadily to the edge. The sunlight blinded him. He didn't see Buck or anyone else. Maybe he decided to go home. Jimmy made his way back inside. He saw his shirt tossed over his saddle. He carefully put it on. Just as he put his hat on, Buck came walking back in.

"Thought you decided to listen." Said Jimmy.

"I told you. I ain't leaving you. I wouldn't do Louise like that."

"If it weren't for her, you'd leave me huh."

"I'd at least think about it after what you did."

"I know."

"Move out the way."

Jimmy stepped to the side as Buck saddled his horse.

"Let's get going. We could be home by nightfall."

"Buck I shouldn't go there. I can't bring this trouble with me. My kids are there."

"Ya damn right. Your kids. If Lou didn't love you so much I'd kill you myself. Now mount up."

Jimmy tried to get in the saddle but Buck had to help him. Once on their horses, Buck started them home. They were only about two hours away from the station when Jimmy called out to Buck.

"Buck, I'm sick."

Buck swung his horse around and quickly got beside Jimmy. Jimmy vomited off the side of his horse. He wiped his mouth as Buck pulled him back straight by his sleeve. He looked at Buck. Buck saw his eyes begin to roll.

"Oh, no, no, no! Hickok!"

But Jimmy didn't respond, he just started sagging in the saddle. Buck jumped from his horse to behind Jimmy. He held him up in front as he kicked the horses faster toward home.


	17. Chapter 17

Ch 17

Rachel was swinging Matt on the porch putting him down for his afternoon nap when she saw the horses. Lou was walking back from the barn holding her girl's hands.

"Louise!" Whispered Rachel.

Lou looked over to where she was looking. She saw the horses. Rachel eased her way inside to lay Matt down. She told Teaspoon and he ran out on the steps. Rachel recognized the horses as they neared. She got Lou's girls and took them inside with her until this could be sorted out. Ike came from the barn. Buck rode straight to Rachel's still clinging to Jimmy. Lou saw him in front of Buck.

"Jimmy!" She screamed.

Ike grabbed a hold of Lou as she sobbed. Teaspoon ran over to Buck and pulled Jimmy down.

"What's going on?"

"Long story but he was shot in his shoulder. The lead was in there when I found him. He has a bad infection."

"The kids are in Rachel's."

Ike pointed to the bunkhouse as he let go of Lou. She ran to Jimmy crying.

"Ike, go grab the doctor!" Said Teaspoon.

Ike jumped on his horse bareback and rode to town. Teaspoon and Buck laid Jimmy on one of the beds. Buck and Teaspoon began pulling his coat and shirt off. Lou gathered herself and ran outside. She came back in with water. Soon after the doctor came. They all left except Lou who insisted that she stay. The others walked outside.

"What the hell is going on Buck?" Asked Teaspoon.

"He got himself into some trouble. It's bad."

"Care to elaborate?"

"After he left, he made a bad decision. He decided to bounty hunt."

"Oh my Lord. Why would he do that?!"

"He said he went out to Lou's but it was empty. He said it tore him up inside. He didn't really care after that."

"Why would he even let her marry Kid? I could skin him alive and then what they did is even worse. I could skin both of them alive."

"That ain't all."

"Could it get any worse than what we already got?"

"Yeah it could. He went after Rick Johnson."

"The one and only I presume. Shit."

"Yeah, the marshal offered him a lot of money. He accepted, only he said when he tried to take him in, a gang of men showed up. They opened fire so he shot back. He shot Rick or so he thought."

"So he thought?"

"He accidentally killed his brother who wasn't even part of the gang.

"Shit. Shit. Shit."

"Yeah. He got hit in the shoulder and luckily only a nick on his side. He didn't go for help cause Rick is out for blood. He tried to get the lead out himself but couldn't. It was a few days old when I found him passed out on side of the trail."

"Buck, thank God it was you that found him."

"I saw them riding. I hid him in a cave. He begged for me to let him go so he could keep them away from Lou and his kids. I couldn't do Lou that way. I brought him here."

"Ya done right."

"They're looking for him, Teaspoon. More men than I can count."

"Lord. Anyone see you come here?"

"No I came from the canyons."

"Good, we'll keep him hidden until I can figure this out."

"He'll eventually come for him. He ain't gonna stop."

"I know. We'll just have to be ready."

The men stopped talking as Louise walked out crying. Teaspoon ran to her and hugged her tight.

"He's sick, Teaspoon."

"I know he is but he will be fine."

"He has a bad infection. What the hell was he thinking?!"

"Lou, he went to your house and it was empty. He wasn't thinking." Said Buck calmly.

Lou sobbed even more.

"He came to see us?" She asked.

"He did." Said Buck.

"He is such an idiot. I am such an idiot but God I love him so much."

"He will be fine. Give him a few days. Doc will know just what to do." Teaspoon passed her over to Ike.

Buck saw Lynn running across the yard. He ran and met her halfway. He kissed her and looked in her fearful eyes.

"I'm fine my love."

"I saw the doctor and thought the worst."

"I was on my way to you, I just had to help with Jimmy first."

"So you found him?"

"I did. He was shot a few days ago. He has a fever."

Lynn teared up and hugged Buck tight. Buck walked with her back over to their small house.

Teaspoon walked inside the bunkhouse with Jimmy. The doctor was making him drink something. He drank it and eased back down onto the bed. The doctor looked to Teaspoon.

"Tell Louise to keep blankets on him. We got to sweat out this fever. His shoulder looks decent. Buck did a great job."

The doctor left and Teaspoon pulled a chair next to Jimmy. He was looking at the ceiling.

"I spoke with Buck."

"So you know."

"It was a mistake, son. I'll think of a way out of this."

"Ain't no way out. The only way to stop this is for him to kill me. I have to get him away from here."

"We ain't gonna let ya do that. Now that we all know about you and my girl, you got responsibilities to account for."

"I can't account for nothin but trouble. She needs to find a man that can give her a stable life. For my kids."

"She don't want that. She wants you. And whether you admit it or not, you need her and those kids."

"Buck told me I have a son." Smiled Jimmy as he shivered slightly.

"Yes you do. A mighty fine young boy at that." Teaspoon said as he pulled the blankets up higher.

"I can't say those words that she wants to hear."

"Why not?"

"People that I love always die on me."

"Don't be so superstitious. I can't believe that y'all carried on like this behind Kid's back but now that I do know, it's time for you to make things right."

"I have to live through this first."

"You will. Don't worry. I'm gonna send Lou in. Start making it right."

Jimmy looked over as Lou entered. She ran to him and fell across his chest. She wept quietly.

"Don't do that. Please."

"I can't help it Jimmy."

"Lou I done something bad. I got men looking for me."

"Don't say another word, I already know and if they think they can kill you then they got another thing coming."

"Don't stand up for me. Get the kids and run."

Lou leaned forward and kissed Jimmy. He closed his eyes. She wiped the sweat from his face.

"I love you, Louise."

Lou started crying again. She laid her head on his chest listening to him breathe. She looked up at his face but he was asleep. He had one hand on her back. Rachel peeked in a few hours later and found them still sleeping the same way. She smiled as she walked back to her house.


	18. Chapter 18

Ch 18

Jimmy was moving around somewhat four days later. The fever had finally broke and he was slowly getting his strength back. He was sitting on Rachel's steps playing with his girls. Lou sat beside him with Matt in her lap. Teaspoon looked at the pair. He couldn't understand why they would deny themselves such happiness together. Jimmy's kids seemed to fall right into place with him like they knew who he was. Lou looked happier than he had seen her in a while but the danger was growing. Buck felt Jimmy would bolt as soon as he could slip off in order to save them all. Teaspoon had the thought cross his mind as well even as he watched them smile and laugh together.

Teaspoon left them on the steps and rode on into town. He sat at his desk looking through posters when Thompkins knocked on his door.

"Thompkins."

"I had some men come into the store asking bout Hickok this morning. They didn't seem too friendly."

"What did you tell them?"

"Just what I know. He rode off a while ago and ain't been back since."

"Mighty helpful."

"I thought so. Just wanted to let you know so you could, you know, prepare."

"Thanks, William."

"Barnett!"

"I'm right here."

"Oh. I got to run back home. I'll be back."

"Yeah, yeah."

Teaspoon rushed home to speak to Jimmy, Buck, and Ike. The time was upon them.

"I'm going Teaspoon."

"You can't leave! We'll help you!" Said Lou.

"I can't let them hurt you or the kids. I'm going."

"You sure that's what you want?" Asked Teaspoon.

"Teaspoon! You can't be serious!"

"Go inside Lou!" Yelled Jimmy.

"They are in town, Lou. It's only a matter of time before they come here to look." Said Buck.

"Oh my God! Y'all are ridiculous!"

Teaspoon and the others looked as they heard riders approaching fast.

"Get the fuck inside Lou! Now!" Screamed Jimmy.

"Not without you!"

"They're too close. You can't run!" Said Buck.

'The barn, away from the girls!' signed Ike.

Buck yelled for Lynn. She came racing outside. He kissed her and pushed her towards Rachel's. She nodded and rushed over. Jimmy pushed Lou away.

"Go Lou."

"I can't."

"Yes you can." Jimmy kissed her.

"Now go!" He yelled.

Lou stumbled back trying not to cry. She closed the door as twenty or so men flooded into the yard. Teaspoon walked out the barn.

"May I help you?"

"I'm looking for Hickok. Send him out."

"He ain't been here in a while. He must be out on the plains."

"I know better. Little old lady from town likes to run her mouth."

"I see."

"Send him out and we'll take care of our business. Then we'll leave peacefully."

"I can't do that."

"Then you'll be the first to die." Rick said as he pulled his gun. Teaspoon leapt back inside the barn.

The men began shooting the barn. Pieces of wood splintered everywhere.

"Stop!" Yelled Rick.

The men stopped shooting.

"There's women around here. Find them."

The men began ransacking all the houses. Teaspoon heard the girls screaming.

"I ain't gonna have this happen!" Yelled Jimmy. "I'm here! I'll be right out! Let them go!"

Jimmy walked out and dropped his guns. Rick looked at him and smiled. One his men had Lou by her hair. They had Lynn and Rachel too. Jimmy walked straight out to the middle of the yard. Teaspoon and the others looked on.

"You have to pay for my brother with your life."

Jimmy didn't have time to respond before Rick pulled the trigger. The bullet struck Jimmy square over his heart and threw him backwards onto the ground. Teaspoon and Buck yelled. Lou screamed at the top of her lungs.

"It's done. Let's go."

The men let the women go and mounted. Rick tipped his hat to Teaspoon and rode away. He stood and watched them leave. Louise ran and flung herself on Jimmy screaming. Rachel heard the children crying. She and Lynn ran back to her house. Buck and Ike stood dumbfounded. Teaspoon watched until the gang was far off on the distance. He walked over to Lou. He pulled her off Jimmy.

"It's ok Louise. Stop. It's ok."

"He killed him. He killed him."

"He's fine. Just give him a minute."

"What? Have you lost your mind?!"

He stood Lou to the side and got down beside Jimmy. He shook him gently at first then harder. Jimmy moaned and started coughing.

"Buck go get the doc."

Buck still looked on confused.

"Go Buck. We gonna need him."

Buck rushed off toward town. Ike went to kneel beside Teaspoon. Jimmy coughed and reached over to grab his chest. Lou fell down to her knees.

"Jimmy?"

"Fuck that hurt! God it hurts!" He gasped.

"Jimmy!"

"Just lay still. I didn't say it would be easy. Doc will be here soon. He said it'd probably break some ribs." Said Teaspoon calmly.

Jimmy tried to control his breathing and let the pain subside. Soon the doctor knelt beside him. He helped Teaspoon open his shirt to reveal a metal plate. The bullet was lodged in the plate.

"How did you know he would aim there?" Asked Lou in disbelief.

"Rick always aims for the heart. He takes no chances." Said Teaspoon.

'I can't believe it.' signed Ike.

"Pretty brilliant actually." Said the doctor as he removed the plate.

"I'm dying. I feel like I'm dying." Gasped Jimmy.

"No son, far from it. I told you it would hurt like hell. Now be still." Said the doctor as he worked.

Jimmy held his breath and laid still.

"You have to breathe Mr. Hickok. We are bout there."

The doctor finished and stood up.

"You'll be just fine. Take it easy for a few months."

Lou threw herself on Jimmy and squeezed him. He tapped her on the back.

"Hurts."

"I'm sorry. Sorry. I thought he killed you. I can't help it."

Teaspoon and Ike eased Jimmy to his feet and over to Rachel's. The women stopped crying and hugged Jimmy when he staggered in the front door unable to believe that he was alive. They helped him sit in the chair. Lou and the girls gathered around him. Rachel walked over holding Matt. Jimmy looked around at all of them. He smiled as he closed his eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

Ch 19

A few days later had Jimmy easing his way onto the porch. He and Teaspoon had done a lot of explaining to the others as to why they had been left in the dark about their plan. Teaspoon told them that he needed their reaction to be realistic. They finally relented knowing that he was right. Jimmy watched his girls running around Rachel as she hung out the laundry pulling at her sheets while she scolded them. He saw Teaspoon holding Matt over by the barn. He seemed to be in deep conversation with the child. Then he saw Lou riding a new horse around the corral. She looked beautiful and happy. She was born to ride. He smiled. Teaspoon had a couple good long talks with him about leaving. He was actually thinking of staying. Teaspoon walked over and sat on the porch with him.

"When ya gonna marry that girl?"

"I've been thinking about it."

"Well that's a good thing. It's bout time. The way y'all been carrying on." Teaspoon smiled.

"One problem though."

"What's that?"

"She's married to Kid."

"That is a problem. What are ya gonna do about it?"

"As soon as I can ride, I'm gonna find him."

"I don't know if that is wise, Jimmy. Look what y'all done to him. There has to be hard feelings. Maybe you should let sleeping dogs lie."

"Well you can thank yourself for it. You and Buck are the ones that convinced me. I need to be the one to confront him."

Teaspoon nodded and listened.

"There ain't no way that I can set it back right but I can be man enough to try."

Matt began to fuss. Lou was walking over so they changed the subject. She gathered Matt and went inside to feed him. Teaspoon stood and ran over to chase the girls away from Rachel's laundry. Jimmy watched them squeal and laugh. He loved their laughter. Lou soon walked back outside and sat beside Jimmy. She laid her head on his shoulder.

"You look to be in deep thought." She mumbled.

"I was watching you ride."

"You were, and?"

"I can't say what it made think about cause I'm in the presence of a lady."

Lou giggled and hit his arm.

"No seriously Lou, I was just taking it all in. You, the kids."

"You better not be thinking of leaving. I swear I'll shoot you myself."

"No just the opposite."

Four weeks flew by. Jimmy was moving around more. Louise watched him walking with Emma and Jamie. He was holding their hands as they walked over to Buck and Lynn's house. She watched them go.

"You can't eat that boy alive with your eyes you know?"

Lou jumped and spun around to see Rachel grinning.

"I know. I just love to look at him. I've lost my mind."

"No, you just love him."

"I do Rachel, more than I should."

"Well, I think you got him this time."

"I ain't so sure. I don't know if Jimmy Hickok can ever be got." Lou said as she walked back upstairs.

Rachel watched her go. She needed to go have a talk with Jimmy Hickok. Right now. She made her way over to Buck's.

The next week Jimmy was back in the saddle helping Ike and Buck sort horses. Lou said he was pushing it but he needed to know if he could ride. He had business to attend to.

"We'll take that one." Said Buck.

Jimmy cut the horse from the others as Ike roped it. Buck saw a rider coming. He looked to the others.

"Rider comin." He said.

Jimmy and Ike turned to look. As the rider drew closer, Jimmy saw it was Kid. Buck reached over and grabbed Jimmy's reins to let Kid approach. Kid locked eyes with Jimmy and pulled to a stop a few feet away.

"Should have known that you'd be here." Stated Kid.

"We don't want any trouble here, Kid." Said Buck.

"Ain't gonna be none. My wife here?"

Jimmy went to move but Ike put his hand up.

"What business you got with her?" Asked Buck.

"Business. None of yours. I know she ran back here."

"Cause you left her and the kids to starve." Said Jimmy.

"You mean those bastard kids. They weren't my responsibility. They were yours."

Jimmy went to move but Buck and Ike caught him.

"Go ahead Kid. She's at Rachel's." Said Buck.

Kid rode on to the house. Jimmy glared at Buck.

"You're staying right here with us. This is something that they need to work out so she can move on."

"I don't trust him."

"Teaspoon is there and so is Rachel. She'll be fine."

Jimmy was waiting impatiently with Buck and Ike. He watched Kid and Lou talk. Some words were heated and some seemed calm. Teaspoon was on the porch within reach. He saw Kid mount up and ride back in their direction. He stopped in front of Jimmy.

"Now you can have each other." He sneered as he galloped off.

Jimmy rushed to Rachel's. Lou was waiting on him.

"Lou?"

"It's fine. He met someone. He wanted a divorce."

"And?"

"I gave it to him." Lou said as she walked back inside.

Jimmy watched her go. He looked at Teaspoon.

"She is fine. Just had to say goodbye is all." Said Teaspoon.

Jimmy jumped on his horse and rode away. Lou ran back out on the porch.

"Where's he going?"

"I don't know honey."

Lou wrapped her arms around herself trying not to cry.


	20. Chapter 20

Ch 20

Lou watched for Jimmy's return an entire week. Friday had come and he still hadn't returned. Rachel tried to comfort her as much as she could but she was beside herself. She tried to walk around like nothing was wrong but she was getting in a rut again. She worked that afternoon with Buck and Ike in the barn when she heard a horse coming. They walked outside to see what looked to be Jimmy coming up the road. Buck and Ike smiled but Lou just frowned. Rachel and Lynn walked out on Rachel's porch. Teaspoon walked out from the garden watching as he got closer. Jimmy came to a stop in the yard. He got down and stood by his horse.

"Jimmy." Said Teaspoon.

Jimmy looked around at all their faces.

"Before y'all start, I can explain." He stepped away from his horse. Lou met him half way and before he could utter another word, she punched him square in the nose.

Jimmy grunted and stumbled back. Lou started cursing and shaking her hand. Rachel and Lynn covered the girl's ears.

"Shit!"

"You deserve that and more, you yella bellied coward! Chicken shit!"

"Just let me explain!"

"Why, why should I?"

Jimmy stood back up straight and wiped the blood from his nose on his sleeve.

"I had to go to back over to Blue Creek. I had to get my money from the bank."

"What?"

"I needed to take care of a few things and I needed my money that I put there. Shit, you can throw a punch." Jimmy said holding his nose.

"Ya better keep on explaining afore I throw another one!" Yelled Lou.

"Lou, how were we gonna build a house without money!" Yelled Jimmy back.

Lou stopped and put her hands up to her face.

"Wait? You want to build us a house?" She asked smiling.

"Yeah I do. Well I did. That was before you hit me."

Lou laughed and her eyes teared up as Jimmy got down on his knee in front of everyone. He pulled out a ring.

"I wanted to ask you to be my wife, for once." He said.

Lou hugged him knocking him down in the dirt. Buck looked to Teaspoon.

"I guess that's a yes." He whispered as Teaspoon smiled.

Jimmy and Lou stood back up. Jimmy removed his hat. Lou stared at him.

"You cut your hair." She mumbled.

"Decided it was for the best. Maybe I won't get recognized as quick. It was Rachel's idea." Jimmy said looking to Rachel.

"Lou, Jimmy and I talked. I think it's best that he changed his last name for his family's sake. I hope you don't mind but I said he could use my old one. If that's ok with you." Smiled Rachel.

"James and Louise Dunn. It has a good sound to it."

Lou hugged her family tight.

"So when do you want to get married? A month or two?" Asked Jimmy.

"Tonight." Said Lou.

"Tonight?"

"Yep. Right now."

"Can I at least clean my face up first?"

"Of course, you got ten minutes."

Jimmy laughed and went to wash his face. True to her word, twenty minutes later, they were married.

The End.


End file.
